New Year Reflections (Not Resolutions): A Kinder Way to Begin the Year
The New Year often brings a particular mix of energy.
A sense of possibility.
A pull towards change.
That quiet “maybe this year…” feeling.
You might feel inspired to set intentions, make plans, or imagine how life could feel lighter or more aligned. You may also feel drawn to reflection or letting go — releasing habits, patterns, or ways of being that no longer fit, so something new can emerge.
These impulses are natural. And they can be genuinely supportive.
But where many of us struggle isn’t in wanting change — it’s how we go about it.
We try to do too much at once.
We underestimate how much energy change actually requires.
Or we rush to fix or release parts of ourselves without really understanding what’s happening underneath.
This blog is an invitation to approach the New Year differently — not through pressure or overhaul, but through reflection, seasonal awareness, resourcing, and sustainable change. It’s about working with your energy and nervous system, rather than against them.
Acceptance Comes Before Letting Go
This is where many of us get stuck — especially if we’re drawn to self-development or spiritual practices.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up, settling, or deciding nothing can change. True acceptance — especially when it involves the body — means telling the truth about where you are without fighting yourself.
Somatic psychology and nervous system research (including work influenced by Stephen Porges) shows that sustainable change happens when the system feels safe enough to shift — not when it’s under constant pressure.
In my work, I describe this as:
Reflect → Accept → Redirect
When we try to cut off, exile, or bypass certain parts of ourselves — the part that wants comfort and rich food, the part that’s desperate to “see results” quickly, the part that feels constantly stressed, stretched, or on the edge of overwhelm — it doesn’t create freedom. It creates more internal tension. These parts don’t disappear; they simply get louder, or go underground, waiting to be understood.
In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the therapeutic model developed by Richard Schwartz, these parts are seen not as problems, but as protectors that formed for a reason.
When we meet them with curiosity instead of force, redirection often happens naturally — without willpower or inner conflict.
Don’t Do Big Overhauls (Especially in Winter)
One of the biggest New Year traps is trying to change everything at once.
New routines.
New food rules.
New movement plans.
A whole new version of you.
While this can feel motivating initially, there’s an important truth underneath: change itself is a stressor.
Physiological research into stress and adaptation — including the concept of allostatic load developed by Bruce McEwen — shows that when too many demands are placed on the system at once, the body experiences strain rather than growth.
In simple terms: your system has limited bandwidth.
When we attempt a full lifestyle overhaul in the middle of winter — when energy is already lower — it’s no surprise that motivation drops, resistance rises, or old habits snap back into place.
Behaviour change research consistently shows that small, manageable steps are far more effective than dramatic resets. BJ Fogg’s work on Tiny Habits highlights that habits stick when they feel achievable and supportive, not overwhelming or perfectionistic (BJ Fogg).
If this resonates, you might also enjoy reading:
→ Why All-or-Nothing Thinking Doesn’t Work
→ How to Make Behaviour Changes That Last
Instead of asking “What do I want to change?”, try asking:
What feels realistic for this season?
What’s the smallest step that would genuinely support me?
What would build trust with myself rather than drain it?
Working With Winter: Energy, Resourcing & Movement
In nature, winter is a time of contraction and conservation. Growth doesn’t stop — it simply moves underground.
As humans, we’re not separate from these rhythms. Reduced daylight affects our hormones, sleep cycles, energy levels, and mood. With lower light exposure, melatonin levels naturally rise, making many of us feel slower, more inward, and less driven.
Rather than assuming something is wrong, winter invites a different question:
How is this season actually affecting me?
Resourcing yourself in winter isn’t indulgent — it’s intelligent. Just as plants strengthen their roots before spring growth, this season asks us to support our foundations. That might look like warmer food, earlier nights, fewer commitments, more time outdoors, creativity, or gentle connection.
Movement, too, often benefits from adaptation at this time of year. Lower-impact strength work, mobility, Pilates, yoga, or slower, grounding practices can support circulation and nervous system regulation without draining already-limited reserves.
This isn’t about doing less forever.
It’s about doing what fits now — so your body is supported, not burnt out, when the light returns.
Start With Gratitude — As Grounding, Not Pressure
It’s easy to look back on the year and focus on what didn’t happen or what you wish you’d done differently. But starting the New Year from self-criticism doesn’t motivate change — it drains it.
Research in neuroscience shows that gratitude supports nervous system regulation and emotional resilience. It helps shift us out of threat mode and into a state where growth is actually possible.
This isn’t about glossing over difficulty. It’s about acknowledging:
What you survived
What you learned
What carried you through — even imperfectly
From here, change becomes resourced rather than driven by shame.
Plant Seeds, Don’t Demand Blooms
Rather than expecting transformation in the deepest part of winter, consider using this time to reflect and set intentions.
What would you like to gently grow towards as the light returns?
What foundations could you lay now — emotionally, physically, practically — so change feels possible later?
Nature doesn’t rush. And meaningful shifts rarely happen all at once.
A Different Kind of New Year
This year, you don’t need to push harder.
You don’t need to fix yourself.
And you don’t need to change everything at once.
Start by listening.
By pacing yourself.
By working with your body and nervous system — not against them.
That’s where real, lasting change begins.
Want Support With This?
If you’d like guidance in reflecting, resourcing, and creating change that actually fits your life and energy, you can explore working with me here:
I’d love to support you in beginning this year in a way that feels grounded, sustainable, and deeply nourishing.