I Know What to Do… But Can’t Seem to Do It
You wake up knowing exactly what would help you feel better.
Move your body. Drink some water. Step outside. Breathe.
But instead, the morning disappears into busyness, indecision, or the scroll. By evening, you’re beating yourself up again, wondering:
“Why can’t I just do the things I know help me?”
This is something I hear all the time from the women I work with — and I’ve felt it myself. The good news? You’re not broken or lazy. There are real reasons why this happens, and none of them are about personal failure.
3 Reasons You ‘Know What to Do’ But Can’t Do It
1. Overwhelm & Nervous System Dysregulation
Picture this: It’s Monday morning. Your to-do list already feels endless — work tasks, family responsibilities, meals to plan, emails to catch up on. You want to start the week feeling grounded, maybe with a workout or a slow breakfast, but instead, you’re rushing around, distracted and on edge. By the time you get five minutes for yourself, you’re too mentally fried to even think about what would feel good. So, you scroll, or collapse on the sofa, and tell yourself you’ll “start tomorrow.”
This isn’t a motivation problem — it’s a nervous system issue.
When life feels overwhelming, your nervous system often shifts into survival mode — fight, flight, or freeze. From this state, your brain can’t access the parts responsible for motivation, problem-solving, or planning (known as executive function). Instead, your body prioritises short-term survival: just getting through the day, not building new habits or following long-term goals.
This is why, when you’re overwhelmed, forcing yourself to push harder or set bigger goals often backfires. Your body is already working overtime just to keep you going.
What to try instead:
One small, kind step — not the “perfect” workout or a strict morning routine, but maybe just stepping outside for 5 minutes of fresh air.
A soothing choice over a productive one — a cup of tea, a deep breath, or lying down for 3 minutes instead of forcing yourself into another task.
Permission to pause — because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop pushing.
Let’s Name the Bigger Picture
It’s important to remember that much of this overwhelm isn’t just personal — it’s systemic. You’re navigating cultural pressures and conditioning that constantly tell you to do more, achieve more, and take up less space.
Think about how many messages you receive every day that tell you you’re not enough — from social media, diet culture, family expectations, or the never-ending demands of work and home life. Add in the emotional labour many women carry — the invisible juggling of everyone else’s needs — and it’s no wonder your nervous system feels overloaded.
When we recognise this bigger picture, we can start to release some of the guilt and shame that makes “self-care” feel like yet another thing we’re failing at. It’s not your fault. There is nothing broken about you.
2. Lack of Clarity — What Do You Really Want?
Imagine this: You decide you want to “be healthier.” But what does that actually mean? It’s so broad and vague that your brain doesn’t know where to begin — and you end up doing nothing because the path forward feels like a fuzzy blur.
Clarity is about being specific with what you want. Not “I want to be healthier,” but:
I want to feel strong enough to carry my kids without back pain.
I want to sleep deeply and wake up feeling refreshed.
I want to have three energising, nourishing meals every day.
Think of it like planning a journey:
If you type a whole country into Google Maps, it can’t give you exact directions.
But if you enter a clear address, it can map the route step by step.
The same goes for your wellbeing goals. Be crystal clear about what you want your life and body to feel like — so your actions can become small, specific steps that get you there.
Once you’ve defined the what, you can ask: “Why do I care about this?”
Knowing your why will add meaning and staying power — but it’s the clarity of your vision that creates the map in the first place.
3. Inner Resistance (and Outdated Strategies)
Have you ever set yourself a goal — like starting a daily yoga practice — only to find yourself avoiding it at every turn? You tell yourself you’re just lazy or bad at following through. But what if that resistance is actually a form of protection?
Think back to the last time you tried to create change. Did you pick a rigid plan or strategy that left you feeling drained or “not enough”? Maybe you went all-in for a few weeks, but it felt punishing — and now part of you remembers that discomfort and is quietly saying, “No thanks, we’re not doing that again.”
Sometimes the issue isn’t that you don’t “know what to do,” but that what you “know” is outdated. It might be an approach that worked (or seemed to work) years ago, but doesn’t fit who you are now or the life you’re living.
Journaling Prompt:
Take a moment to get curious about the part of you that’s resisting.
What words, phrases, memories, or sensations come up when you think about this resistance?
Does this part of you feel like it’s trying to protect you from something — like past discomfort or failure?
What would it need to feel safe enough to take a first step?
Understanding your resistance is the first step to dissolving it — and often, this simple curiosity can unlock the most compassionate way forward.
Where to Go From Here
If this blog resonates, I’d love for you to explore my Work With Me page — especially Brave Reset, a one-off 90-minute session designed to help you pause, breathe, and find your next steps with clarity and calm.
This session is perfect if you’re feeling stuck, tired of the cycle of trying and failing, or simply ready for a fresh, compassionate reset.